I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What a dumb baby whore.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
