dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize