You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
