I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
