What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
