So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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