Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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