in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize