just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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