We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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