just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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