Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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