So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
