it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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