my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Everyone says I win the strip club
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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