I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she smelled like a LAN party
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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