You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
