fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sorry about my life...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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