DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
