I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize