he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize