you have to choose: penises or morals?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
