then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
