I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
