But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
