xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize