Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
