you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
