Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
