I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
