Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
