Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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