and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize