Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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