do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
