Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
