I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
id be glad to
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
