you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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