i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
