First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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