today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
