Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
