I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
