omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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