And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
