I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
