big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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