just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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