Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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