in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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