the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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