I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
