PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
