All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just found puke in my bra..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
