last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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