well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
