My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
